Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:16
Some of us live with lots and lots of shame. We look back at our words, thoughts, actions, and attitudes and we just hang our heads. We are chased by the memories inside our heads, or we’re reminded of it throughout the day. It seems like there’s just no getting away from it.
It’s funny what can trigger feelings of shame. It could be a word someone says or something we read on our phones. We can be picking up bread at the grocery store and suddenly, we’re overwhelmed with shame. It can come out of nowhere and just totally ruin our day.
But what is shame? It’s not that hot flush that comes over us when shame arrives at the doorway of life. That’s only the result of shame. The root cause is something much deeper than how our face turns red. While it’s hard to pin down an exact definition for shame, it’s a deep feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that comes in two parts.
Part 1. We go against a very deep truth or conviction that we believe in. We all have a code inside that tells us what’s right and wrong. At this point, we might not have figured out that we’ve gone against our internal list.
Part 2. It may be immediately right after Part 1, or there might be a time gap, but shame arrives when we realize that we’ve gone against what we think is truly important.
Yes, we hang our heads when we come to Part 2. Some people look for someplace to hide. Anyplace will do. And others lash out in anger, trying to use their outburst to deflect or hide their shame. These reactions to our shame can really ruin us and the lives of the people around us.
Sometimes shame comes in like a wave that disappears as quickly as it arrives. And sometimes shame seems to stay around, and you just can’t seem to get rid of it. Like a bad smell that just doesn’t seem to want to leave, shame can linger on and on. And on. And on.
The idea of God not having shame sounds right. After all, what has he done wrong[1]? He does not lie or change his mind[2]. There’s nothing evil or dark anywhere inside God[3]. He is right in all he does and kind in all his works[4].
And while we have shame for what we’ve done, God doesn’t have any shame at all for calling us to be his sons and daughters. Think about this for a minute. In Christ, God not only calls us to himself, he has given us a new family name that identifies us with him. Note the order of those words: he calls and he gives. What did we do to earn or deserve this? Absolutely nothing[5].
When God calls us, he covers all our sin[6]. Period. All sin; past, present, and future sins are nailed to the cross[7]. Our salvation and relationship with God is not dependent on what we do but on what God in Christ has done[8]. Paul goes even further.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17
Think about it this way. When we were conceived, we didn’t have a name. We were given a name by our parents somewhere along the way. But that name didn’t become official till it was written on our birth certificate. The same is true with our relationship with God, he gives us a new name and will always be our heavenly father.
When we adopted Eddie as our son, he took our last name. There were lots of meetings and paperwork. Eventually, someone with more authority than us said that his last name was now Gladkowski. We even got fancy forms from the state that made it official.
And this is not only the genius of the gospel, but also what makes it so wildly different from any other faith, religion, or philosophy. In Jesus, God adopts us and gives us his family name. And this takes away our fear and shame with God[9]. As his child, we can be totally assured that he will never leave us or forsake us[10].
As I write these words, my fingers don’t want to type them because there’s that voice inside my head and heart that says I’m not worthy. And those words and feelings are right and wrong all at the same time. Yes, we still sin and can even make God grieve[11], but that doesn’t change the new last name he’s given us. Now that’s good news.
Noodling Questions
Describe shame in three words. Explain each.
When doesn’t it feel like God’s covering of sin isn’t working? Describe.
Why is shame more of an emotional thing and less of a mental thing?
[1] 2 Samuel 22:31
[2] Numbers 23:19
[3] 1 John 1:5b
[4] Psalm 145:17
[5] Ephesians 2:8,9, Galatians 2:16
[6] 1 John 1:9
[7] Colossians 2:14
[8] Titus 3:5
[9] Romans 8:15
[10] Deuteronomy 31:8
[11] Ephesians 4:30
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